Sharing another story from our FlipSisters Coaching Program!
Bridgett in the Denver area gets real with us about her personal journey from childhood trauma, gaslighting and lack of self-trust to the last few months in our program where she's found her voice, stood up for herself, created boundaries, asked for what she needed, started to trust herself and even made herself proud.
I'm telling you, this is a conversation you do NOT want to miss.
This is the good stuff here. This is why our community is so different. It's intentional; like attracts like.
Here's some of what we discuss in this episode:
...and so much more!
This is one of the deepest conversations we've had on this podcast and I'm so grateful to get to share part of Bridgett and part of her story with you.
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Debbie DeBerry | The Flipstress®
Leaving people and places better than we find them.
Unknown Speaker 0:01
You're listening to the flip houses Like a girl podcast where we educate, empower and celebrate everyday women who are facing their fears, juggling family and business, embracing their awesomeness and wholeheartedly chasing their dream of flipping houses. Each episode delivers honest to goodness tool, tips and strategies you can implement today to get closer to your first or next successful house flip. Here's your spiky haired breakfast taco loving host house flipping coach Debbie DeBerry.
Debbie DeBerry 0:39
Hey, thanks for hanging out with me today, you are in for a treat. I tell you, this conversation that I am about to share with you is a conversation I had with one of our flip sisters. Her name is Bridget, she is in Denver, in the Denver area. And she's just awesome. And this is such a real, authentic, genuine conversation about her journey. From a tough childhood, a history of gaslighting and self doubt, we talk about her journey in our program her finding her voice, her telling her husband what she needs her standing up for her dream, her creating boundaries. And on top of all of that we talk about her first flip. This is such a powerful conversation that you're about to hear. I'm so excited. All right. Let's just go. Let's start with you introducing yourself. Let us know a little bit about you where you are a little bit of your background. And maybe what, why what got you into interested in flipping houses? What was that about?
Unknown Speaker 2:01
Okay, so I'm Bridget, I'm in Colorado, I live about 30 minutes north of Denver in a really small town called superior, which is part of Boulder County. Most people are familiar with boulder. I just moved actually to Colorado, see my daughter's five, so five years ago, so eight months pregnant when I moved. So it's always a good benchmark for me to remember when I will. And so in my professional life, I've always been in sales, and healthcare sales for you know, a vast majority, I'd say of the 1616 years I've been doing sales, 14 of that has been in health care. Everything from the pharmaceutical rep calling on the primary care doctor to where I am now, which is in the oncology space. So I work for a small biotech company currently called see Jen and I support oncologists and who treat blood cancers is rewarding. But there's also I've always struggled with my successes that have got to put this you know, it's as a result of the worst day of someone's life. Oh, God, they have cancer, right? Um, I mean, we've all been touched by cancer, whether personally ourselves or family members at this point. But it's, it's always been a struggle for me. And something I've had a hard time reconciling, you know, being at the top of in my sales and what that means, oh my
Debbie DeBerry 3:51
gosh, for sure somebody else.
Unknown Speaker 3:53
And so, you know, I've had wanted to get into another field. And I've always, always wanted to get into house flipping or, you know, some sort of design type thing. You know, I since I can remember I've been obsessed with houses, like when I was in high school, I would go to open houses. I grew up on the far south side of Chicago, like the old Al Capone home. Oh, cool. And like I loved that like and I was obsessed with Frank Lloyd Wright. And, you know, I would literally by myself in high school would go to
Debbie DeBerry 4:38
love it. We would have been besties I love it. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 4:41
I used to rearrange my bedroom like once a month that drove my parents crazy. I would rearrange things all the time, which is something I was you know, obsessed with and unfortunately, didn't pursue that for a career. There's a lot of backstory to that But, um, you know, I grew up in the Chicagoland area, and I have parents who, I guess, add a lot, a lot of childhood trauma, I'll just say that. And that affected me and my decision making and I needed security to not have to depend on them. So I went in the business route, which sales I thought would be easy, you know. So, but, you know, for, like, I'd say, probably, almost 12 years, I've dreamt about getting into flipping and COVID. You know, as it affected many people in different ways. For me, it was Life's too short, stop dreaming and start doing. And I came across you on social media, and started listening to some podcasts. And finally, I had a conversation with my husband and said, I want to do this, and I want to do this for me. And I'm done thinking about it. And I'm dreaming about it. I want to do it. And so here I am.
Debbie DeBerry 6:10
It's such a common conversation that so many of of our members have, right, it's like, yeah, I've done for others for a really long time. And I'm gonna go ahead and chase this thing that I'm really curious about. Yeah, I Yeah, that's definitely something we hear for sure.
Unknown Speaker 6:30
Yeah, it, it, I will admit, you know, in the beginning, shifting that mindset of doing for me, was hard. It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I don't know that NASA thought it would be easy, I just maybe didn't think it'd be so hard to let go of the expectations, I put on myself, quite frankly, to be everything to everybody else. So ah, that was that was a huge shift, you know, in the group, you know, you know, and others within the group now like to speak up and say, I need to do this to the ones around me and let go of the guilt that came with that and just sit through like the muddiness of that afterward and keep going was it was tough. But once it started, and I started feeling good, and I think once other people around me started seeing the difference in me, it made that, like, so easy.
Debbie DeBerry 7:37
Oh, my gosh, that's it, is it? That's you said that so well, because it is a shift in us that has to happen. If and it's a shift and other people around us, right? Because they've been seeing us as a circle. And now we're saying guess what, we're not circles anymore. We're triangles now. No, no now, and we're like, we're kind of like trying to own that. Right. Like, okay, I'm a triangle now. And they're like, oh, I don't know, I kind of like your triangle. This is threatening me out back to me. Yeah, right. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 8:21
gosh, Mm hmm. And like, just being able to sit through that and wait it out was, it was tough. There were days that I almost like, converted back to the old meaning or tried to juggle it on do it all and felt myself drowning in it. And, you know, one of my biggest hang ups is asking for help, you know, most women, you know, you know, it's real hard for me, and I finally, you know, this is my dream, I need to do it, and it'll make it I will show up as a better version of me for everyone around
Debbie DeBerry 8:54
Peace, man. Okay, so you had that conversation when you joined the
Unknown Speaker 8:59
initial conversation of I want to do it. And then I started doing it. And then too much I couldn't keep up. Like, you know, we were in the midst of the pandemic. So I had two kids home. Yeah, I was working from home, my day job and my husband's working from home, and teaching my kid, you know, third grader, then in second grade. And trying to do this and juggle it all. And, you know, the voices in the head like you're not doing enough, you're not doing enough, you're not doing enough and I was killing myself in it. And so I finally just had a moment. And, and quite honestly, it was the group that kind of pulled us out of me in the sense of like, seeing everybody else doing it. And hearing everybody else's struggles. You know, it's not just the success that motivated me. It's hearing other struggles.
Debbie DeBerry 9:55
Absolutely, like seeing the successes are fantastic and Absolutely, we're gonna celebrate the heck out of it. But show me somebody struggling and getting and still doing the thing that you back up. Yeah. Right. Like, that's what blows my mind like, that's what inspires me. And that's what inspires most of us is seeing Okay. Wow, that didn't destroy her How did that not destroy her? Right? Oh, she's still going. That's crazy. And I'm over here complaining about what's going on in my life like, Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 10:26
I'm not a unicorn, there's plenty of women in this group that are working their moms are giving it all and they're still doing this. Yes. And so it was like, What are they doing differently? And, you know, how are they, you know, continuing to show up for themselves. And I had to make that choice to do that. And yes, speak up and say I need help. I can't do all this. And you know, I, it is my turn. Yes.
Debbie DeBerry 10:52
I remember that. I remember you posting that. I remember you posting that you you set and created some boundaries, and you asked for what you needed. Oh my gosh, I totally remember that. So let's talk about your first completed and sold, flip.
Unknown Speaker 11:10
Second purchase first completed,
Debbie DeBerry 11:12
purchase, first completed and sold and all of that jazz. Let's talk about the numbers on that. So when did you close on the purchase of that?
Unknown Speaker 11:23
June 15. Okay,
Debbie DeBerry 11:25
and then what did you pay for it? For 11? Okay, and I know a lot of these answers, but I'm just gonna ask them anyway, how did you find it?
Unknown Speaker 11:37
I found it through a wholesaler. And it was a first come first serve. So it was whoever
Debbie DeBerry 11:44
was my favorite. Those are the only ones I'll do. Yep. Okay, so 411. And when you went into it, what were you thinking the renovation would be what was the rehab budget.
Unknown Speaker 12:01
So we're gonna backpedal a little bit to my first purchase flips. So I purchased a flip in the end of April in downtown Denver. I hired a GC for that. And I found this one in June, this one in Longmont. And so my GC that was working on one in Denver was also going to do this one. So he was the one that walked the property with me and gave me the bid. So initially, the bid was for 55k, Rata. Okay. And then a whole lot of things happen. And I know we'll get into some of this, you know, later on, but that you see between the close of the long month property, and which was June 15. And July 1, a lot came to light about Denver and what was happening and that subs weren't being paid, even though I paid him and was receiving lien waivers that were obviously complete crap. So I, I, my gut started telling me some things were going on. And I was trying not to inject a lot of fear based on my background and my upbringing, I can do that at times. So I was really trying to work on that piece, but then again, to a point where it was evident, so I started doing my homework. And so in that two weeks timeframe, I had to fire him on Denver and fire him along.
Debbie DeBerry 13:39
So, right, okay, so right after you close, all of a sudden, you're you had two projects without a GC. Yep,
Unknown Speaker 13:47
Mm hmm. He done Mowed Lawn right, and he didn't even demo it all before a fire. Um, and he did some demo that was wrong and cost me a little bit more money. Not a lot, but a little bit more in terms of plumbing and stuff that he did. But, uh, yeah, so it turns out, I had to quickly determine, alright, I need a GC in Denver, because it's a huge project that's like $185,000 rental. It's like a complete gut. So that when I couldn't even GC myself, there was just no way with what I had on my plate and everything. Sure, and I decided to GC Longmont in it. But there's a caveat to that, that I don't think I even shared and maybe I did, maybe I didn't, um, I had a partner on a 5050 partner.
Debbie DeBerry 14:39
I remember that. Yep. So,
Unknown Speaker 14:41
um, we talked, you know, we had our terms of, you know, how this partnership was going to look. And we decided we would GCF together and we would share in that right. Um, there's some stories with that and lots of lessons learned. But we thought we'd be able to handle that. And you know, we thought, okay, we know our budget and all that sort of thing. And as we started to get bids from stobs, and a friend of his does work, it's from him. It quickly started to we started to realize we were completely underbid by my original GC by like, 15.
Debbie DeBerry 15:27
Unknown Speaker 15:29
So we, we managed it. There were some hiccups along the way in that whether it was supply chain between windows, AC unit, appliances, those were the three. Yeah, yeah, it still remains to be the same three issues right now. But I got COVID My whole family got COVID. So there was a month in that project that I couldn't be out there and I couldn't do anything. And I was the one picking off finishes. Got it. I'm doing all the creative part of it. So, you know, that also prolonged our project. So originally, it was supposed to be an eight week project.
Debbie DeBerry 16:18
Okay. And it ended up being how long
Unknown Speaker 16:23
12 Okay, so,
Debbie DeBerry 16:24
between purchase and listing was 12. Mm hmm. And then instead of 55k, Reno, it was 70.
Unknown Speaker 16:34
And then we went over and did some extra things. And then because of supply chain, we went over more as we had to get what we had to get. So it ended up being 85.
Debbie DeBerry 16:50
Okay, so 12 weeks 85k. Okay, so what was your initial ARV?
Unknown Speaker 16:56
Our initial ARV was 565.
Debbie DeBerry 17:00
And what did you end up selling it for?
Unknown Speaker 17:05
590 Uh huh. We listed for 585 sold for 590. Okay. We had an offer in 48 hours.
Debbie DeBerry 17:13
Uh huh. That house was awesome. Yeah, yeah. Um, great pictures like it just did. Thank you. Oh, yeah, I knew that was gonna sell quickly. Like it just is a showstopper. It was a beautiful thing. showing it off your family in Longmont showing it
Unknown Speaker 17:29
off? Yeah. Thank you. We had people coming by thanking because, you know, it was it was pretty bad before. The I mean, even just the outside of it, right. Hadn't been, you know, kept up. Yeah, inside smelled like cat urine. Oh, gosh. But people neighbors come in by thanking us just for putting new sod down and painting.
Debbie DeBerry 17:52
Right? Yes. For caring? Yeah, yes. Okay, so with your 5050 Partner? What did that look like? So you were going to do the creative part. financially? Did one of you contribute financially? And the other one didn't? Or Did y'all both contribute financially? We both did,
Unknown Speaker 18:12
but he contributed a little bit more, because I was doing all the creative side of it and going out and buying every like the finishes and all that sort of thing. So, um, financially, he, you know, but I did everything in terms of carrying costs came out of me, and then I purchased all the materials. Well, most he purchased some too, but most of it came from me.
Debbie DeBerry 18:38
Okay. And then did you guys use a hard money loan to purchase
Unknown Speaker 18:42
it? Yes. So again, I'm going to reference the first purchase slip in Denver, because that in the purchasing of that, which I also used hard money, I found a private lender to help with the down payment. Because that is a very expensive flip. Purchase 100k. You know, we're talking like over a million sale price and renovations of 185k. So I found a private money lender to cover the downpayment on it. And he offered to like I went to him again for a down payment along that one. And he not only does private money, but he works at a mortgage broker who does hard money as well. Oh, God. So he's like, I'll fund this one through that arm of the business versus private. And, you know, I'll match any deal that you get. So I got a deal from another hard money lender and he he matched and then the other good part about that because there's so much capital tied up in the Denver flood. We negotiated a monthly payment less than what the interest payment would have
Debbie DeBerry 19:56
been. Wow, that's amazing. All because you asked That's awesome. Because
Unknown Speaker 20:03
when he said, because his first terms that he sent me, I was like, I can't do this, I've got better terms with another lender, and I don't have to pay anything upfront. And with all the capital I have tied up in Denver, you know, I have to go with, you know, what I have in the bank and what I can do and blah, blah, blah. So he was like, well, I'll just match it. And we will come up with a, an agreement in terms of your monthly payment, and we'll roll in the dock fees and everything to the lump.
Debbie DeBerry 20:31
That's amazing. Nice. Do you would you work with him again? Like you're happy with?
Unknown Speaker 20:39
Yes, yeah. We have so easy to work with, um, gets me my draws. And, you know, I, we did some of the rhino budget with him that the whole thing. We did the initial 55 with him, and then everything else we did, once we started learning that we were way under, Before closing, and so, you know, I mean, like I said, no dry request to have it in 24 hours. You know, the whole funding part in the beginning was super easy. I definitely would work with him again. And, you know, he's Mike's my business, and, oh, you know, he's willing to match anything else I find so, and just the flexibility of, I can see with him how I can be in multiple projects at a time if I don't have a ton of capital, you know, with one. So in that long term goal, because I do want to say goodbye to corporate America. Yes.
Debbie DeBerry 21:34
Okay, so, after all these numbers 411 purchase price 85k, Reno 590. Sales Price about what was your profit of 34. And y'all split that? Mm hmm. What was that total? Like? Four months?
Unknown Speaker 21:52
Yeah, okay, we closed on October 20. The first or second? Whatever that was? Yeah.
Debbie DeBerry 22:00
Nice. Okay. And how did the partnership go?
Unknown Speaker 22:06
I won't do it again. Okay. But I'll expand on that. So, obviously, things came up along the way, right. And we, you know, I learned, not only do you need to talk about the terms of the contract, but it was okay, another part of this, it was in my business name. So, you know, my brand is important to me, um, and the product I put out, it's very important to me, and I am not a fly by night flipper. I want a solid product that I could be proud of that 2030 years down the road is still a good product, right? Maybe it'll be out of style, but it's still a good product. So we didn't get into that. So that was a mistake on my part. And I don't blame my partner for this. This was a mess on both our parts, we have different standards. So there was some friction there. Okay. I am not about going with the lowest bid. Always. I want quality. And so if I have to pay a little bit more, I'm willing to pay a little bit more, because I want it to be something that my family would live in. Yeah. And, you know, every house I do, that's the mindset I go into is, but I live here what I want my family to live here. Yeah. And some of it's just, you know, aesthetic stuff. That's still that's important to me. And it's part of my brand. And I had to compromise a little bit on that. And I never want to do that again. Yeah, some of my why is time. You know, for me, time is currency. I've got two small kids, I used to travel a lot for work. I'll never get this time back. Yeah. And I was there till one o'clock in the morning. So nights. Towards the end it part of this was because we got COVID. But he didn't step up during that time in the way I would have expected. So there was just some, some lessons learned in that and some of it was communication, right. And I will own that part. Because one of the things I'm working on through this, and being a business owner and being a boss, and all that is having my voice. You know, having my voice with grace, it doesn't always have to be yelling, it doesn't have to be mean spirited in any way, shape, or form, but having my voice and being firm in that, but with grace. So you know, I I also don't want to answer to anybody. Yeah, I want to do what I want to do. And my product is my name. And you know, I tried it, no harm, no foul. And, you know, one of the things I'm learning in this journey of being an entrepreneur is, you know, I'm gonna make mistakes, and that's okay, and I'm gonna make this Decisions that in hindsight, maybe I'll never make again. And this is one of them, I don't want to do a partner like that I'll have a silent partner, I'll take money all day long. When it comes to the creative side of it when it comes to the product, and you know, the quality of it, and who I'm hiring and all that. I want the final say, and I don't want to have to check with anybody. And so, you know, lesson learned.
Debbie DeBerry 25:30
Yeah, I learned the same way. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a speed thing to write if, if there are multiple people doing the same thing, or having input in the same thing, it's, it slows everything
Unknown Speaker 25:44
down. Yeah. Yeah. Like, make a decision and wait for a response where I could just stop make the call, you know, yeah. You know, having just, neither one of us did a good job of explaining how we envisioned the final product to be in the quality God, there are things that I was like, There's no way to sustain this phase. And he was like, that's gonna bother me, no one's gonna notice that. I'm like, I became, like, a couple times a little contentious, because there was dollars involved in that. Yeah. And so, you know, again, I missed on our car. And, you know, I, I tried to do my due diligence on the front end, because you do teach that, you know, if you're kind of going into a partnership, it all needs to be discussed. And I discussed the bigger things like the money, who's doing what, and we were real clear on that. There were no issues there. It was really just more about, you know, like, as the project started to go past time, you know, when we expected it to be completed, both because of my COVID, but also because of supply chain. You know, I'm willing to roll up my sleeves. Get out there be there till 1am painting trend? Yeah, I'm paying someone else to do it. But I need this done. Like, no. So. And that person wasn't willing to do that. So
Debbie DeBerry 27:14
yeah, that's hard. That's okay. Yeah. It's frustrating. It's frustrating. Been there, in there. And sometimes it's like, they'd honestly be better off just being the money person. Yeah. You know, I mean, really, some sometimes. Some people aren't made for decision making like that, especially quick decisions. And, yeah, I mean, it really is really hard for some people. We're just different. We're all so different. Yeah. Well, good. Well, I mean, I'm glad it all worked out. You're out of the deal. It all worked out. It created an amazing product. Beautiful. And you learned lessons were like, Yeah, it sucks that we have to learn lessons. And it's also why I keep coming back. Like, there's something new and different every time, every project, something new and different to learn. And it's those things that you can't learn you the only way you can learn 90% of the things is by doing. Yeah, we've got to be out doing the thing. And then you learn all these things. And you're like, oh, or it's like, oh, that's what that is. Oh, okay, that makes sense. Now that I'm in it. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 28:34
Yeah, it's, that's, you know, my entire life, every lesson I've learned is they're doing like every meaningful lesson, you know, that really has been impactful in a kind of changing type way, if that makes sense, where it's changed the way I've approached something, or it's changed my perspective on something, you know, it's all been kind of hard way by doing and, you know, it's, I found for myself, I have to be careful to not get into like that victim mentality. Because it's just a lesson, you know, you know, it's like, you know, get back up and go on and don't repeat it, you know, yes. Move on to the next thing. It's not a reflection of, you know, something I did wrong. Yes. You know, it's, it's, I made a choice. And I now know, I'm gonna do that choice again. Yeah,
Debbie DeBerry 29:31
exactly. Yeah. And no, getting into that whole shame of I'm bad. And I make bad choices. And I shouldn't have done that. And all of that is very dangerous. What a coach does, yep. Oh my gosh. So in terms of surprises, yeah. There were supply chain things. And there were things between your partnership within the partnership, but were their surprise repairs or costs, once you got into it, like once you got real bids?
Unknown Speaker 30:07
Well, the first surprise was that we were way under bid. Right? So, you know, this wasn't a huge project in terms of taking walls down, we took one wall down, but it wasn't even all the way to the ceiling to open up the kitchen. I would sit. So one thing that happened. And like, the week before your listing, I'm painting trim in the basement and I just went to walk out and noticed a bubble in the ceiling.
Debbie DeBerry 30:44
Unknown Speaker 30:48
So a pipe meeting, the main line coming in. It was an easy fit for me. But it somehow, like came loosened and like the seal of it just was completely eroded. So I'd have someone come in and do that. That was just, I wouldn't call it necessarily a big cost. But it was just one of those like,
Debbie DeBerry 31:16
right at the end. Yes. Again, like we're in the homestretch. Oh, make it stop. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 31:28
I'm really no, it was just the being under bed. Really? Yeah. That was it. It was, you know, just, I mean, way under bed. Right. We're no big prop. No big issue is in terms of, you know, any plumbing, electrical, anything like that?
Debbie DeBerry 31:52
Nice. Yeah, good. I think I know the answer to this, but what's your favorite part of the process? Your creative?
Unknown Speaker 32:00
Yeah, I love taking something old. And breathing life back into it. Um, and, you know, I, I, like, in an early age, kind of shut down my creative side to me. So it I've learned the more I do this, and the more I get into this, this business that I'm in now, it's, I like it. I feel alive. So it's, it's the best feeling I've heard to be honest. Yeah, it's, I I like to try depending on when the home was built, like my one in Denver. Oh, yeah. You know, and 1920 like that. I want to keep a little bit of the old character. But this long mount was built in like, 84. Right. You know, it's a little different, but I still got to be creative and take something all you know, knock down a wall, open it up. I love it.
Debbie DeBerry 33:03
Yes, same thing. I know that this Denver flip is like going on and on and on. Are you waiting till that sells to look for another one?
Unknown Speaker 33:15
Yeah, I'm gonna go heavy on my own marketing, using your model or how whatever word I'm looking for. Sorry, my brain is not breathing well as you. So I'm focusing on doing that right now. I'm focusing on getting my real estate license because these are all things I was working on. And then everything, you know, blew up on me. Um, so I kind of had to pivot. That's my new favorite word. I'm gonna get it tattooed on my body somewhere because all I feel like I do is pivot pivot pivot, which is it's good. Um, it's problem solving, which I like to do. But yeah, I have so much capital tied up in Denver right now that I am not comfortable. I mean, I could probably find money but I'm just not comfortable until I get this unloaded and the goal for that is under January.
Debbie DeBerry 34:14
Nice. Okay, that was my next question. Oh, nice. Do you think Is that does that seem doable?
Unknown Speaker 34:20
I should have all the walls up the end of the end of next week just before Christmas. So then it's flooring tile painting you know lighting all the fun stuff right?
Debbie DeBerry 34:32
Yes for me Yeah, same.
Unknown Speaker 34:36
So I think it's doable. We don't have any supply chain issues. I have all my appliances I have all the windows the whole I mean that place that's you want to do a podcast for my second set sale first purchase like I mean from finding out I have lead. Lead pipes in the mainland. Mine outside. That was one blessing that came out of like a mess was Denver has a get the lead out program they call it and I say $15,000 Oh, never on that if I did not have this new GC.
Debbie DeBerry 35:13
Oh, wow. Mm hmm. Was it the guy that walked through? Was this a new JC the guy one of the guys that was there when we came to visit and he came to meet you.
Unknown Speaker 35:25
I passed on him. I liked him. Okay. Energy was not what I needed coming out, or what I came out of got it. Um, I needed different energy. And I know that might sound hokey to some but he was too intense to the world as you know, the sky is falling the world his name. I needed like, we got this will get turned around. You know, let's take it a step at a time kind of thing. I needed that. Um, but he's, he's good. He's a good contact. He helped with some things in Longmont, actually. Oh, nice. And getting some people out there for bids and some stocks that he works with. So there's still a relationship there. But I'm on to somebody else. Yeah.
Debbie DeBerry 36:18
I'm a firm believer in choosing the energy I want to be around. So it's not hokey to me at all. Like intensity, I can't I take it on, like, I take on the energy around me. So I can't be around the intensity, like, oh my gosh,
Unknown Speaker 36:37
I didn't need that coming out of that. I mean, I was a ball of stress, right? I was like, Oh, my goodness, am I going bankrupt? You know, like, is this like, but then I have that fire me where? I'm not going to let these guys destroy me? Yeah, like, you are not going to do this. I you know, I am going to get through this. And come out the other side and keep going. I love that. Yeah, yeah. And it's, it's how I got where I am in life today. Is that fire? You know, right.
Debbie DeBerry 37:13
Thinking back, like, before you purchased your first flip, or your second flip, whichever flip? What was your biggest fear? Or what were a couple of your biggest fears around? Flipping Houses.
Unknown Speaker 37:37
So initially, as I'm sure many of the and I've heard it said in here 100 times was the money piece. But that actually became one of the easiest things. Then it was getting out of my own damn way. Yeah. It honestly, this truly, I know, you said all the time, and you know, it's spent a lot. This is a mindset program. And, you know, not to get too deep. But, you know, I thought I had some childhood trauma. I mean, both my parents are addicts. So I have been gaslit my entire life, oh gosh. And to trust my gut is really, really difficult. And to not go into a place of fear is very difficult. And to have a voice is really difficult. And I can get, like I said, I get in my own way with all three of those things. And so, I have to have a daily practice reminding myself yeah, you know, that. This, you know, everyone, I My voice matters, and this is my business. And I have to trust what I feel inside. And like I said before, I can do that without it being like a bomb exploded. I can do it with grace. Yeah. And you know, I did do it with grace a lot in the beginning with the Denver project, and then it just, I mean, I was being gas like gas was so super triggering. Yeah, for sure. You know, I did turn into I mean, it became a five alarm fire and I was you know, very I didn't mince words. But it you know, my biggest lessons are when my God is telling me I need to trust it. And I need to speak up. And you know, I need to also not like with the long term projects and having a partner not feel bad about what my expectations are? Yeah. Oh, and, you know, just quieting the fear and just responding, you know, because the fear can get me in this tailspin. And then I ended up having no voice, then I ended up feeling resentful, then I ended up you know, just like a spiral. And so I, you know, when I feel that, I, I've made a promise to myself, sit with it until I'm no longer triggered. And I can actually discern between whether this is a legitimate gut feeling, or, you know, the past kind of creeping in on me, yeah. You know, usually, within a couple days, I'm, I can determine that and respond. Yeah, um, you know, sometimes it's sooner than that, but the most span is a couple of days. And Denver went on, I let it go on too long. Again, um, I was so focused on wanting, not wanting my past a dictate how I reacted to this, that I didn't trust myself. I, you know, kind of let people he asked me, and, you know, I was making excuses for them. And, you know, I just, I hindsight, being 2020 had, I trusted myself earlier, I would have not lost as much as I lost on that project. And both time and money wise, um, but that's okay. Because, again, these are all learning lessons. And for me, learning to trust myself is the best lesson I could have ever gotten through all of this. And, you know, just learning that my voice matters, and that, you know, what I say matters, and that this is my business and my money and my project, and you're not going to tell me how it's going to be. You know,
Debbie DeBerry 42:14
that's huge. Like, it all hits me very deeply. That's huge.
Unknown Speaker 42:22
Just, you know, one thing I started doing is, you know, that guy and getting out of my own damn way, like not getting stuck in the problem. And reaching out like I, another great thing that came out of this number one, mass edit is the amount of networking I've done. And people I can now call to gut check, or, you know, hey, like, this doesn't look right. Like, I don't know enough, but this doesn't look, you can check this out, or take a picture and send it to you. You know, that is, I mean, fantastic document. Now, I've just got this bigger pool of people and resources to pull from Right. Right, though, you know, I'm reframing a lot of it. And not focusing on what went wrong. You know, I'm focusing on when I'm learning from it. God, it's hard. Hmm, no, yeah.
Debbie DeBerry 43:24
It took me five years, many projects to get there. So many of the things that you've said, are the big lessons that I too, needed to learn. And I'm glad that you have started learning them faster. Like, thank you. Yeah, I am like, self trust.
Unknown Speaker 43:52
Debbie DeBerry 43:55
Dry, like, just across everything. It's just huge. And then we get to model that. And then kids, like, our kids will learn it sooner. Like it's just, it's not just about us. It's about everything around us.
Unknown Speaker 44:14
Yep. Yeah, it's, you know, I got in therapy a long time in my life because of my upbringing. Um, this, like owning a business, starting a business doing this, everything I've done and what's happened in these first two projects. I mean, that's probably two years worth of therapy. Oh, he said that I you know, the growth I've had awareness and the evolution um, you know, cuz I always say like, there's not like a stop for me like I'm gonna continue to evolve and grow and I can toward being a better person in my life and this has catapulted me in a way that I don't think anything is good. Honestly, The the, the lessons and just the personal growth and just, you know, I got knocked out a bunch took a hit to my confidence, but I'm still going and I'm not going to let it you know, take me down and it's hard. It. It's real hard. I mean, there have been sleepless nights don't get Oh, for sure No, but yeah, like, you know, when I sit and reflect and I look, you know, because one thing I will say that I've always struggled with is recognizing my accomplishments and celebrating them and not minimizing them. Oh, gosh, always minimize everything. sistering? Yeah. It's from where I came from, to where I am, even that in and of itself is an accomplishment. And I've struggled to, it took me years to be able to say that. And they'll be like, I mean, I've only been doing this since I bought the first one in April of last year, I closed April 2018. And where are we December? No. And are not last year, April of this year? No, we're in December. And, you know, it's, it has caused me to look at myself in a way and really dig deep and like, see, wow, like, look at what you did, look how you handle that. Look at what you're doing, what you're modeling for your kids look, you know, and I luckily have a really great support system too. And my husband, that he has helped me along the way on those days where I don't want to get out of bed or those days, right? Like, what did I do wrong? Maybe this isn't for me. I shared this with you. I mean, for the littlest thing as buying me a keychain that says, you know, you're the boss, like, do other bigger things. And just like, you know, managing the kids more and like, you know, reminding me how far I've come and how much I've learned. And, you know, it's part of the process. And it's actually, you know, I love flipping houses. I love the creative side of it. But what it's done for me personally, I mean, that that's just monumental. Yeah,
Debbie DeBerry 47:19
exactly, exactly. Um, yeah, I see it a lot. The flip is great. I'm so like, I'm so excited. I know. That's our goal, right? The flip is the goal. But my favorite transformation the house is that transformation is great. But the transformation that happens inside of us, it has to we aren't the same person, when we flip the house the note than when we started, we're not that same person we can't be. It's not like you can't be you have to, you have to show up differently. In order to show up differently, you have to evolve and transform in some way.
Unknown Speaker 47:55
I remember hearing from you super early on in the program on one of the group calls. And I mean, we're talking like within my first couple of weeks of being in the program, or like first, you know, maybe two months max, and you had said something and this was something I was avoiding. You were talking about what are the things you're avoiding? Right. And it was like making phone calls like for building your team, right? And Mike was like, calling hard money lenders and you inside the person you were before you make that phone call is different than the person you'll be afterward. And that stuck with me. Wow, it's so true. I mean, the person I was April 28, when I closed down Denver is not the same person I am today. Yeah. Were there a lot of struggles along that way? Yes. Yep. But I am. You know, I'm proud of who I am. I'm proud of what I'm doing. And I'm I have this group in you to thank for that. And
Debbie DeBerry 48:47
huge. That's huge, like you saying that, that you're proud of yourself? That's huge. That's hard. That's hard. It's hard to say.
Unknown Speaker 48:58
A year ago, I was I don't know that. I could say that. Even with like, the 10 years of laundry. Oh, but it's really transformative. And what a journey. Yeah, it's been great.
Debbie DeBerry 49:12
Oh my gosh. Honestly, I can't think of a better way to wrap up the conversation than what you just said with you being proud of yourself. Like that's it. That's it. That's what I was. That's what I'm here for. That's what the call was all about was just to get to that point where you said you were proud of yourself. Yeah, exactly. Like that's huge. That's awesome. But really, this has been fantastic. I'm like such an enjoyable conversation. And so I appreciate you sharing not just your, your professional journey, but parts of your personal journey to because that's the that's the stuff like that's the stuff that's the meat like that's the good stuff. I appreciate it. It's going to resonate deeply with with people and you have no idea, you have no idea the people that are gonna resonate with your story and be inspired by you. And it's, it's, it's just awesome.
Unknown Speaker 50:10
The vulnerability in this group is beautiful. And the way people lift each other up and share and it's inspiring, and you should be, you should be proud of that, because you created that space.
Debbie DeBerry 50:25
You know, we've all definitely co created it. I like I really, we really have because it's every single person who comes in and contributes and brings the energy. And we've just been so fortunate that we keep finding really cool people.
Unknown Speaker 50:41
For you attract what you put out there. I believe that and yeah, this out there, and you created this space. And so it's just attracting those people.
Debbie DeBerry 50:48
That's awesome. That's awesome. I love it. I'm so glad that you're part of it. And yeah. Thank you for sharing part of your story. Thank you. All right. I'll see you for sure. In the group. Yeah. And around the interwebs and stuff.
Unknown Speaker 51:07
Yes. Thank you.
Debbie DeBerry 51:09
Hope you feel better. Thank you. I appreciate you. Alright, I'll see you by Wi Fi Bridget. What a conversation, right? Oh, my gosh. Ah, so much. So much. Goodness, and authenticity and vulnerability. And lessons learned and things still do differently and things she's proud of? That conversation was just so powerful. And I'm so thankful that you shared part of your story with us, Bridget, thank you very much. All right. So if you're listening, and you're like, Dang, this community sounds pretty awesome. This community of women, not just learning how to start and grow their house flipping business, but a community of women who encourage each other and empower each other and support each other and literally cheer each other on, day in and day out. If you want to be a part of that, if you want more information, go to her first flip.com. And if you like what you see, schedule a call with us. And let's see if we're a fit. All right. You know the drill. Go out there flip houses like a girl. Leave people in places better than you find them and chase your curiosities. Tricky, right. All right, that's the new sign off. So do it. Go chase your curiosities. Alright, until next time.
Debbie DeBerry 52:57