Sis Donnelly has been in our coaching program community for 3 years and she turned into a member of Team Flipstress as a Community Success Advisor in January of this year.
She asked if she could interview me and I thought it was an awesome idea because I love sharing my stories! I know there's value in them, just as there are with the other women's stories that get shared on this podcast.
We talk about so much:
...and so much more!
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"Leave people and places better than you find them." - Debbie DeBerry | The Flipstress®
Unknown Speaker 0:01
You're listening to the flip houses like a girl podcast where we educate, empower and celebrate everyday women who are facing their fears, juggling family and business, embracing their awesomeness and wholeheartedly chasing their dream of flipping houses. Each episode delivers the honest to goodness tools, tips and strategies you can implement today to get closer to your first or next successful house flip. Here's your spiky haired breakfast taco loving host house flipping coach, Debbie DeBerry.
Debbie DeBerry 0:40
Hey there. Thanks for hanging out today. So in today's episode, we're flipping the script. One of my awesome coaching program members turned awesome team members, sis Donnelly, had the idea to say, hey, Debbie, let's interview you for a change. We want to know more about you. Which I'm glad she said that I'm happy to know that people are curious and want to know more about me. And here's the thing, I'm not gonna sit on this podcast and just talk about myself. That's not in my nature. It's not really what the podcast is about. I really want this to be uplifting stories about other women doing the thing. And I'm happy to talk about my stories. I love sharing my stories. I love connecting with people. So I absolutely love to share my wins, share my failures, share all of the things. And so when CES asked me if I'd be up for this, I was like, absolutely. Thank you, CES for taking this on, for asking me for caring about my stories and wanting to hear more about them. So that's what this episode is. You'll hear more about my stories, my wins my failures. The time I almost didn't flip again, the really hard times. All of it. I'm telling you how the flip sisters coaching program came to be and more. So let's go ahead and jump in. So we're just going to jump into our conversation where sis will introduce herself, and then we'll get into it.
Unknown Speaker 2:28
So my name is this Donley. And I've been a member of Debbie's bribe for I think, a little over three years now, maybe just right at four years. Yeah. And now I also work for Debbie as one of the members success advisors on the tribes, private Facebook group. So I get on and help answer questions and offer support. And I'm also running my own house flipping business here in little videos, flat Nebraska. And we are all super interested in Debbie and wanted to hear more about her. So I asked her if we could do a podcast and just ask her some questions for change kind of turn the tables. So, Debbie, why don't you start and just kind of tell us a little bit more about you. So we we kind of know your mom was a huge influence, like a huge positive influence on you. Um, what tell us about her?
Debbie DeBerry 3:32
Ah, me and my mom. So for starters, I was her fifth child, and her last child and her only girl. And yeah, so she kept telling me she was trying for a girl trying for a girl and then here comes a little tomboy. bless her heart. She put me in dresses until my first birthday when my brothers all chipped in and they're much older than I am. They bought me my first pair of jeans and she was like, she was heartbroken. Because I never really got out of my jeans. Good brothers though. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Um, she was. She was my biggest fan. She was everybody's biggest fan. She was your biggest supporter. She was in everybody's corner. She was the two things that she instilled in me from a very early age. Like I can hear her saying these things over and over. One is you can do absolutely anything you set your mind to anything, anything you want to be anything you want to do. You can Yeah. And then the second thing was, which became our motto here is lead people in places better than you find them. So those were the two messages that I constantly heard from her.
Unknown Speaker 4:56
I never realized that that specific phrase came From your mom.
Debbie DeBerry 5:00
Yeah. That's really cool. Yep. I mean, really like this whole. This whole program came from my mom, it's, it's crazy. So yeah, she was one of those where she knew that. I've always been a boundary pusher. I've always been one to, I'm a rebel. But I like to follow the rules. And I like to push boundaries. But I also like to follow the rules. So it's, I'm kind of a weird rebel. This is not like, I don't want to end up in prison, right. But I do want to kind of push my boundaries. So I like in sports or in whatever that I was going out to do. She would just be there to push me and, and then on the flip side, when I would screw up royally. She would be this safe space that I could come back to. And she'd be like, you know, they're there. And she'd let me kind of heal for a little bit. But then she pushed me right back out. So it's like, Yeah, great. I understand it didn't work the first time the way you wanted it to. And like, let's be upset about that for a minute. But then go, go do it again. Or go do something again, like don't sit and wallow, get back into action. So, yeah, that has just, I mean, that's always been that's always been there. And I also bring that into the community. And then what else about my mom, she was just like, she was the person who brought all of us together. So when she died, my family dynamics changed 180 degrees. I mean, it went from we would gather several times a year at their house. And it's now we don't ever gather. So it's been over seven years. Like we just, like, share the reason we all came together. So the family dynamics totally changed after she died. What else about my mom, she's just like, she's just awesome. She was awesome. She loved so hard. And so like without she just didn't hold back. She didn't hold back. She just loved she loved real hard. So
Unknown Speaker 7:27
Yep. Yep. I think we see a lot of that in you. I do.
Debbie DeBerry 7:32
I hope so. That's a huge compliment. That's absolutely how I try. That's how I try to show up for sure. And I absolutely show up with my son the way she showed up with me. I mean, I she was an excellent model for, for how I want to parent. And yeah, I mean, absolutely.
Unknown Speaker 7:53
Well, one of my favorite things that I see about you in our coaching community, when you talk about loving part. But sometimes giving that tough love is that you have this amazing way of balancing that, like you're able to give the tough love and say, No, you got to get back out there. You need to take some action, but at the same time, still building us up. So that's a balance that isn't always easy to find. And that's one of my favorite things about you.
Debbie DeBerry 8:25
That's awesome. That is such a huge compliment. That's Yeah, I mean, that is absolutely what she modeled. So I'm glad that I'm glad that that stuck. Like, here's the thing, and it's like, and you know, I've had as an adult, I've had coaches who've been the same way. Even even as an athlete, I had coaches who are the same way. I've had business coaches who are that way. And so I understand what it feels like, it feels like sometimes it feels like No, just telling me, like, just tell me everything's gonna be like Tell me everything's, you know, right in there, tell me what to do and tell me exactly how to feel and how to be instead of letting you know us figure it out. And that's where the power is. If she would she let me figure it out. But she was like, go figure it out. Go.
Unknown Speaker 9:13
Yeah. And that's where you get the confidence in yourself is knowing that you're able to do that. Yeah, I totally agree. Completely agree. I grew up with a mama that was very, very similar. We've talked about that before. And I think that's such a huge thing is to have somebody pushing you and telling you, you can do this. Go figure it out. Yeah. And not giving you the answers. Yeah, one of my favorite phrases that I've heard you say is bring the data not the drama. Yeah. So you know, being able to set those really emotional, big things aside and look at that data and figure it out. Sometimes just learning to do that. Is is one of the biggest things.
Debbie DeBerry 9:59
I totally I agree. Yeah. I think that it's, it's hard because, you know, we're not managing our emotions. We're constantly managing our reactions to our emotions, our responses to our emotions, our emotions are gonna be there. We can't stop that. Yep. We have to manage how we react and respond to those emotions when they come up, like, do we completely freak out and freeze and just decide? Well, I'm not gonna make any decision? Well, that's a decision. Right? If you're not making you're choosing to not decide, you're choosing to not fix the problem.
Unknown Speaker 10:37
For sure. Yeah. So you mentioned having some coaches and in athletics and business and things like that, do you have any other big mentors that you really think about a lot or that you feel like you got a lot of influence from?
Debbie DeBerry 10:52
Absolutely. So most of them were my athletic coaches. So one was in high school. She was my softball coach for four years. And she was and she's just she was just so good at setting boundaries, and good at setting expectations and following through on the consequences, right. And I talked about that too, like with contractors, right, that boundary, yes. And, and follow through on the consequences, because if you don't do the second part, then the boundary setting was worthless. Like it was a waste of time. She was also that's where I got my handwritten notes, my love of handwritten notes from Oh, my gosh, I still have them. What 30 years later? Oh, God, yeah, Rose. I mean, be sick. But yeah, 30 years later, I have these old soggy notes that she would write us. Before tournaments, she would always write each one of us like, and they were so they were so specific to that person. It wasn't like it was just, you know, she just she just showed up in a really cool way. Um, and she was also one of those who was like, you can do better, like, not that you're not doing enough, but I see potential in you. And you're you're not tapping into that. It was just like my mom like similar messaging, like, you can do better and go try. I'll be here. Like, right, you screw up, you need to talk. I'm here. But go do. Same for in college I had. Again, one was, they were both in the athletics department. Neither of them were actually my coaches. One was the athletics director. And one was, each of them had been a professor of mine. So they, let's see, my sophomore year in college. So I went, I played softball, in college, small college, liberal arts college, you know, like 900 students as well. I had to be in a small setting that because I was such a rebel and like a boundary pusher, I needed to be in a small setting, or I need to be college. We needed to build relationships. I did. And I needed to be seen. I needed to be seen, because if not, then who knows? I don't want to think of where I'd be right now. Yeah. But they, my sophomore year, they pulled me into a meeting. And they were like, dude, you can do better. Like, my my. So my high school was really hard. I went to I went to a college prep school, and it was very, very hard. It was harder than any school. I did afterward. And I did college and grad school. Okay, so it was a really hard school. So I was done like I was burned out.
Unknown Speaker 13:45
So by the time we got done, and you had bounced around quite a bit, right, like, yeah, as a child, you you guys moved a lot. So elementary, junior high, you probably maybe struggled a little bit academically, I'm guessing. So with moving around,
Debbie DeBerry 13:59
you know, I didn't I like I was always a good student. So I'm a people pleaser. So I was the class clown. But I also wanted to please my teacher and please my parents, right. So I made good grades. But then all of a sudden, like, high school was a complete like, it was a completely different experience than anything. Like it was the hardest thing. It was way harder than college or grad school. It was just so hard. And so when I got to college, I was kind of like, wow, like, I'm done. I did call that college. So, um, I just wanted to play sports. And I was doing enough to get by, right, like, I was an average student. And they pulled me in and they were like, No, man, you have got to start showing up like, you're half assing this and you're doing yourself a disservice. Like you can do way more than what you are. You got to start showing up and like, right That's all I needed. Like, I needed to be called out on it. And from there I went to like, you know, for point out like, never again. Did I have a bad grip? Like, yeah, I just needed to be called out. And I didn't know you went to grad school? Yep. What are you gonna major in? biomechanics? Of course, Really? Wow. Yeah. I don't even know what that is. But basically, it's physics applied to the human body. Okay. And I was like, wow, fascinated by it, like, fascinated by it. I was, I was a little bit too early though, in the field. So the field is pretty new. And so I did this internship in college and, and I fell in love with the way I was going about it the way I was studying it, and the interest I had, were in sports performance enhancement. Okay, so Okay, so we would work with athletes, and we'd like, attach all these electrodes to their joints, and we would see how their body moved. And we'd be like, Oh, hey, if you just like move your arm a little bit this way, you would get whatever seven more miles per hour on your fastball. Like stuff like that. It was fascinating. super interesting. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 16:14
my gosh. And I was so young into that too. With with having the sports background. Definitely. Yeah, it was so cool. Yeah, that's, that's really cool.
Debbie DeBerry 16:22
There weren't jobs like it was it wasn't a big enough field where they're like, after grad school is like, well, you either go become a professor or, or no, like, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 16:32
So is that what may is that when you got into flipping then, when you got out of college?
Debbie DeBerry 16:38
Right out of grad school? I owned a couple of, so I bought one. TCB why frozen yogurt shop? Really? I don't know that either. Yep. So I'm on screen. Oh, nice. Yeah. I was like, Oh, that's easy. Like, how hard can it be? I'm just getting frozen yogurt to people. Like that's super easy. That's a no brainer. Like, that's so easy. Well, yeah. Mind you. I had never had a business class in my life. Like, I did not know what I was getting into. And I jumped in. And I was like, Oh, my God, it was a crash course in business is what it was. I had to learn a lot like it was there was way more to it than just serving frozen yogurt to people. So were you managing it as well. Oh, my gosh, it was 80 hour weeks easily. I was I hired like, like, all my employees. were like, 1516 years old, right? So I'm paying them to be there. And yet, I'm babysitting them. So I was like, something's not right here. I got the short end of the stick. Um, it was in an incredible amount of work. It was constant work. And it was like barely getting by, like, you're not going to become a bazillionaire owning a TCP. Why the frozen frozen yogurt shop? You're not? I mean, you get a lot of ice cream free. Yeah, I ate a lot. for free. Um, yeah. And nilla wafers. So yeah, I did. Um, so I did that. And then I opened a second location. So the one I bought was existing. So that was easy, because, you know, customers were already there. Anyway, I opened a second one. And it was, you know, an hour away, and I was just on it was, it was too much. So I sold those. After three years, like to the day of owning them, I sold those and just got rid of them. And then so that's when my mom's like, Oh, you should totally get into real estate. Like, you'd be so good at real estate. You love people. And I was like, Okay, I mean, I definitely wanted to still be in business for myself. I really think she just wanted like she growing up. She took me to open houses all the time. Right. We were always looking at houses. Yeah. And I think she just wanted an MLS key. She just wanted to be able to not have to wait for the open house. She just wanted to go look at houses when they were on when they came on. Just tell you, Debbie, you need to let me into exactly. And so that's how I got into real estate. That's very cool. Very cool. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 19:19
So you've been in real estate since 2003 2000. Yep. Yeah. That's, that's quite a while.
Debbie DeBerry 19:28
It's crazy that it's almost 20 years. Something a lot of houses flip. If you had to estimate how many do you think you flipped? So I didn't start flipping until 2008. After I got my license, I was like, This is fun and all it wasn't the traditional brokerage part was just exhausting. No, it's Yeah. There's no time freedom. You are literally at everyone else's beck and call like drop everything at the mat. You know At a phone call drop everything to go show a house. Because if not, somebody else will.
Unknown Speaker 20:06
Yeah, you hear people advertising, Camille can be a real estate agent with this agency or this brokerage or whatever. And you'll get you get all this time freedom, flexible schedule, and I thought, huh, but I text my agent on a Saturday afternoon, and he stopped me in there by Saturday night. So what if he had planned? You know, I know. Yeah, there's not quite as much freedom as they say,
Debbie DeBerry 20:29
Yeah, no, there's not. There's not, um, and I. So then 2006 by 2005, maybe 2006. I went to so I had already gotten my broker's license, I got it as quickly as I could, as quickly as I qualified for it. Because that means I didn't have to then hang my license under anybody else. I could go out, right. I could have all that commission, like not have to share my commission. Yep. And so I actually joined a brokerage that just worked with investors. And basically, it was people buying rentals and duplexes mainly. So we sold a ton of duplexes, and we helped a ton of investors get great properties. And yeah, that really was when I started getting the bug. And so I started buying rentals. And then I started seeing people around me flipping houses. And I saw how much they were making. Right? And I'm like, That's way more than a commission check. Like, and, and there's a lot more time freedom in that. Yeah. But and it was. Yeah, so it was years of me trying to figure out, okay, really, how do you do this? Like, how does this work and seeing people doing it? And the thing for me was, then, like, in the in the recent, five years or so, there's been way more of a push toward, like design and, you know, fill spaces, then it I mean, it was, that's not what you did, like it was, you know, lipstick, it was like, go and do the bare minimum. And I was just like that this is junk, like, buyers are buying junk. And I just felt like there was a huge opportunity to do it in a different way, even though I was told you can't do it that way. Like the way I wanted to do it was actually like caring. I don't know, let's care about the product. Right? Yeah. Like, and the end result and the buyer. Yeah, let's care about the people who are involved. Like, let's not make it so transactional, because that's what it felt like it felt super transactional, like, in and out done, never think about it again. And I was like, that's not the that's not that's just didn't feel it didn't feel like an alignment with me. And so because I wanted to do everything pretty much opposite of what I was seeing. And what I was being told was possible. It took me a while to trust myself. And I talk about that a lot, right? Like that's self asked, and listening to listening to your gut. And trusting that. It's it's important, like what your gut is saying is important. What your what that inner voice is saying is important. And worthy. And, and worth listening to. And following. So my so yeah, so I finally did my first flip. But you know, it was wild, because I'm looking around, I'm like, this is crud, I can do it. I can do better than this. And surely I can create a better product for people. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 23:54
So if you had to think back on all of your flips, do you have any that really stand out as a huge win for you? And I not necessarily money wise or profit wise, but maybe that's it to? Maybe it's design, or maybe it's just the project in general. But if you have any that really stand out for you as this is a huge win. I'm the most proud of this one.
Debbie DeBerry 24:17
Okay, so there are two. Can I have? Okay, okay. Yeah. Okay, so even better? The first one? I think the first one is always like, I think it's the most important one, because the first one is is the hardest, because we build up in our mind that it's this, we build it up to be such a difficult and nearly impossible thing to do. So to prove ourselves wrong is huge, right? Because that opens the floodgate because it's like, oh, oh, I did that thing. And I made like, yeah, you know, it's 2008 I made $60,000 on my Split.
Unknown Speaker 25:01
I remember you saying that before. Yeah, there's a lot of money. When the housing bubble was was was terrible, it was happening.
Debbie DeBerry 25:09
Yeah, yeah. So that first one, and not only it wasn't just the profit, like, for me. The biggest Aha, the biggest win for that first one was seeing myself in a different way. Because I was always this. I was an athlete. I was business minded. I was numbers. I wasn't artistic. Yeah. I wasn't creative.
Unknown Speaker 25:42
And that shocks me, because I've seen your design. It's bold. It's beautiful.
Debbie DeBerry 25:48
So when I think of artists, I think of people who can draw or paint Yeah, and I cannot draw and paint. No, right. I mean, I can't even draw a stick figure like that. My stick figures are awful. Yes. And makes fun of my stick figures. So that people's reaction, even to my first one that wasn't that, like it wasn't anything. I look back, and I'm kind of like, God, it was so it was terrible. You still have pictures of it? Oh, yeah, it was bait. Yeah. I mean, it was so super basic. And but people were like, Oh, my gosh, you're so creative. And I was like, oh, oh, no, no, I'm sorry. No, they're playing it safe. Guys. I'm Debbie DeBerry. I don't know what you're talking about. Um, no, but like, Oh, I'm creative. And so I kind of like it came in. And I was like, that's interesting. Like, let's let's file that away. We're not going to think about it too much. But we're just gonna put it back here. And then after my second one, where I did start putting in more design, because again, people weren't doing that, then people weren't putting in designs at all. This is 2009 when I did my second one.
Unknown Speaker 26:59
People weren't doing I remember everything then was beige. Oh, it's all everything. Oh, my gosh, wall space, carpet beige, beige countertops, bass. Everything left.
Debbie DeBerry 27:10
Oh, beige and yellow. And it was awful. Like looking back. It's so bad. But then I was like, Oh my gosh, okay, I am creative. But then also, it's like, well, I've always been creative. I'm a very, I'm very creative. I'm a really great problem solver. I love solving problems. But I didn't think that is creative, right? Like, it's more like visually creative. I didn't know I had that. So to then see that. Oh, wow, I have that. That's really cool. And so I just ran with it. Like, let's see what happened. Let's just keep doing that. Yeah, yeah. So the first one. Yep. And then my second one was the first one I did after my worst flip ever.
Unknown Speaker 27:57
Okay. So tell us about the good one. And then tell us about the worst flip ever.
Debbie DeBerry 28:06
So the one after the worst flip ever. The reason why it was so good was because the confidence had been knocked out of me. Like, I got to the point of I don't know that I'm going to flip again. Yeah, because what happened in that one? I didn't have any control over what happened. And so I thought, Oh, god, what First of all, what if that happens again? And how did I not see that? What did I miss? What did I do wrong? That caused all of this pain that I that I ended up in emotional financial. How did I miss all that? And so my confidence was totally shot. I mean, I was scared to do my next one. I was I it took me. I was so cautious. And I was overthinking it. And I relate to all of that. Like, I'm not free. I'm not a robot. I can't wait to all of that. It is terrifying. It's scary. I over I was overthinking it. I questioned everything that I was thinking. I but it was it was harder to do that one than it was my first one because I because I had just come out of a really bad situation. So I knew how bad it could get right. Like, like, Oh, God, I felt that it hurt. Yeah, so doing that one. It was it was huge. Because like I said, I I was very close to never flipping a house again.
Unknown Speaker 29:49
It reminds me of the old thing, you know, if you get bucked off, climb back up on the horse. You know, it's so true. You have or get back on your I can write again if
Debbie DeBerry 30:01
you have to.
Unknown Speaker 30:03
Yeah, you really do. worst thing you can do is quit. Right, you know, especially out of fear.
Debbie DeBerry 30:08
Exactly. Because all of those what ifs, yes. something bad might happen again. Yeah, absolutely. The likelihood isn't as great though as it not happening like the leg, it's more likely for good things to happen. Yeah, you absolutely have to face the thing you have to and I knew I did. Like, I knew I had to face the thing. I didn't want to be a prisoner to it, because I felt like, like, I was like, I either let this thing defeat me. It was holding you back. Yeah, I either let this thing defeat me. Or I try it again and see what happens.
Unknown Speaker 30:47
Yeah, absolutely. So what's the it in hearing that? What do you think's the most memorable lesson that you've learned from flipping throughout the years?
Debbie DeBerry 31:01
So that worst flip?
Unknown Speaker 31:02
Yeah. taught me a lot. Yeah. And is that the let me back up just a little bit. Is that the one that ended up with the title? issues? And it wasn't it in litigation for a couple of years? And
Unknown Speaker 31:18
Unknown Speaker 31:19
So we've heard quite a bit about that. But yeah, tell us more about it if you want to.
Debbie DeBerry 31:23
So I'll do it briefly. For people who haven't heard it. So there. Yeah. On the other side of things, there was fraud. There was like a basically what happened was, somebody tried somebody on on the seller side, tried to prevent the sale. Okay, so what she did was she, she's a licensed real estate broker, by the way in Texas. She, yes, yep. Oh, oh, that was part of that was part of the motion. That was part of the agreement. Oh, I didn't get to turn her. Yeah, she didn't she Oh, she made money. She walked away after doing all this awful stuff. That was hard. Yeah. So she forged her mother's signature. Her mother was incapacitated, forged from other signature gave herself 20% interest in the property. I didn't know about any of this, because she did this. Between the time that the title company ran their title search and the day of closing. Okay, so the title company did not report title. That is why it is on our checklist to repol title within 24 hours of closing, I guess. Yeah, yep. Yeah. Um, and so that didn't even come up until I went to sell. And my title company was like, Oh, yeah. Hey, who is this lady? Who would you partner with? And I was like, Yeah, what are you talking about? So yeah, that was a, it ended up being two years of litigation. I ran up an insane amount of credit card debt, which is why you never hear me say use your credit cards. Yep. I had to file bankruptcy. I mean, it was it was awful. There was it were a horrendous experience, and I could not make it go away. I didn't do anything wrong. I was the victim of all of this stuff of her family drama. Right. Um, so yeah, that was hard. It was hard to come out of that.
Unknown Speaker 33:20
But back to that. Yeah. came back from that. And you continued to flip. Yeah, you continue to flip?
Debbie DeBerry 33:27
Yeah, I didn't want it to defeat me. I didn't get hurt. It felt like she would have won yet again.
Unknown Speaker 33:33
Right. Yeah. Right, exactly. So what led you to start in the tribe? What brought us here? What brought us all here together? Because I have never seen a group of women who can all get together in one space, and not be catty, and not be 50 and not be snotty or snarky. But just everyone is so supportive, and amazing. And I, how did you do that? I mean, what, what, what gave you the idea to do
Debbie DeBerry 34:15
so I'm No, I mean, honestly, our our community is amazing. It is and I say that and I tell people how special it is. And you don't get it until you come in and you're like, no, it's they're not full of BS, right? Yeah, yeah, they're serious. This is what created it. So I, I've always been, I always wanted to be a coach. I didn't want to like coach an athletics team. I wanted to coach people, though, and I didn't know what that looked like. I didn't know what I meant by it. On my athletic teams, I was always like a captain, I a leader. I was always mentoring people and like, instill confidence in People and trying to build people up. Like that's just it's always been what I did, because that's what my mom did. I totally relate. Yeah, yeah. So it was always me. And so I always wanted to be a coach in some regard. I just didn't know what that meant or how that would look. And also, here's the thing. Honestly, if if, you know, um, sometimes when you're in a new group, like one of the icebreakers might be like, what's your worst day ever? What's your worst memory ever? Yep. I always had a hard time answering that, like, I just I didn't have because, relatively speaking, they're like, well, I got dumped, okay. Like, yeah, I didn't have a painful life. It was a very, I just didn't have hard things until my mom died. And that was that is forever the answer. The day my mom died is forever the answer. Yeah. But then after that, but so leading up to that, it's like, I want to be this coach I want I want to hit like life coach, it didn't feel it didn't feel in alignment. But I didn't have It's not like I felt like an imposter. I can very much connect with people deeply. Like I love to do that. I've always loved to do that. I've always craved that deep connection yet. But it was the fact that I didn't have I hadn't gone through hard stuff, like really hard, painful things. I couldn't relate. So I felt like if I had tried to be some sort of coach without actually going through some hard stuff, I felt Yeah, that's a bit of a why in a way, like, Can you really relate? I don't, I didn't feel like I could. So then my mom died. Then I got a divorce, then. Right. Then I got then I filed bankruptcy. Then I got cancer. So like the universe was like, here you go. You have all your heart stuff. You want to some hard stuff. Here you go. Yeah. Yeah. With the sight of with a site of sour apples. Right. So right, all of that crap happened. And so then I'm like, Huh. So after my mom died, I really did like I for a year. I was like, What am I doing? Like I'm flipping houses, but I'm not doing anything like I'm not. If I'm not doing anything beyond that. Yes, I'm doing good in what I'm doing on this scale. But how do I make it like bigger? Like, how do I make my mom's legacy? Not just like, go up and smoke, like, how do I keep? How do I pay forward all that love and support she gave me basically it comes down to how do I pay all of that forward? I was like, Alright, I'm gonna do it. I'm going to be a coach. I had all this bad stuff happen after that, too, because that bad deal happened after my mom died. Yeah, I mean, pile it on piles, the more I know, it was Yeah, all such a hard, like, two years of my life was a really hard two years of my life where I just thought I can't, I can't, like I can't make my way out.
Unknown Speaker 38:13
And still, there hasn't been a turning point for you there. Because, you know, three years is a long time to have a lot of stuff, a lot of crap happening to you like that. So many people would just get stuck in that and allow themselves to stay there. So what was your turning point? And you said, No, I'm moving forward with this.
Debbie DeBerry 38:35
Honestly, my son, I couldn't my son was four was about to turn four, when my mom died. And he saved me that kid I honestly don't between him, and flipping houses, those two things. That's what I dove into. Like, it was like, forget everything else. I'm going to focus on my kid, I'm going to focus on flipping houses, and I'm gonna get through my grief, like, I'm going to do all of this. But I was like, do I want to be the person Like, who do I want to be for my kid? Do I want him to see that this thing totally destroyed me. And I can't fight my way out of it, even though I'm going to be telling him to fight his way out of things. So like, it wasn't an option. There wasn't an option to not fight. I just didn't know. I had, I was struggling with what is that going to look like? What is it? What is the infant looking like? And so that really having I was having lunch with a friend. And you know, I've taught people how to flip houses along the way. Like I've taught clients. I've taught friends. I never had any. I never had a formal structured program. Right. And so so when I was talking to one of my friends, I was like, man, I really want to do coaching. I don't know what though in life coaching just doesn't. It doesn't really Ring my bell. Yeah, you know, and she's like, so Why aren't you teaching people how to flip houses? And I was like, yeah, that's the most genius thing ever. Why my brain didn't think that I have no idea. But I was like, Yeah, well, that's so dumb. Yeah. Why aren't I? I think it's what I love. It's what people ask me about, like, why am I doing this? So? Yeah, so that's where it was mighty fine burgers with one of my best friends, and he'll
Unknown Speaker 40:32
love it. So did you think that it would look the way it does now? Is this how you envisioned it? What did you envision?
Debbie DeBerry 40:39
It is? It's what I all it was what I hoped for. But I really didn't think was possible. So I know, I've said this before, I really did not know if anybody was going to show up to this party, I was going to throw a party in a different way. It was going to be focused on women, it was going to be not just about flipping houses, it was going to be about transforming yourself, because you're not going to be the same person who flips the hat, right? You're not gonna know who you show up, as on day one is not the same person who flips the house. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 41:17
I am testifying. Right now. I can testify. Truth. So true.
Debbie DeBerry 41:23
Yeah. And so great. I wanted nobody's talking about that nobody was talking about, look, yes, the steps are important. The steps are all out there, if not the steps you need, or else you'd be doing it. Right, you need to transform yourself first. So so that was the cut. That's what the conversation was around like, women empowering women. And like showing up and standing up in your voice, and being heard, and trusting yourself and know how to you're not being afraid to take up space, take up as much freaking space as you can. Yeah. So absolutely. I was like, well, I'll see. I'll see if anybody comes, I'm gonna, you know, throw this party, I'm gonna open the front door, and I'm gonna cross my fingers. And the way it's turned out is everything I hoped for. And, and nothing I imagined would actually happen. Yeah, but it's all of it's not just me, I started it. But everyone who comes in this ecosystem like keeps. It's like, it's like everyone shows up with their little candle lit. And they write and like, so everyone who's already here, we've got all our candles touching, we've got this huge flame. And then the next person who comes in like they put their candle there and the flame gets bigger and better agar.
Unknown Speaker 42:49
Yeah. And I remember thinking when I first joined, Debbie, I was actually a little worried about you. Like, I think when I joined, there was maybe like, 200 members, I don't remember 150 200 members. And I thought, Oh, how does she sustain that? Like, how is this sustainable long term? I get it. Like, we're all supposed to help answer questions. Were all supposed to help give encouragement and support and all of that stuff. So So that takes some of it off your plate. But I remember being worried like, Oh, my God, what if this gets too overwhelming? And she quit? Like, I can't have that? No, no, we need this place. I was so worried. So as as we have grown, you've added a couple of members, success advisors to help, because I'm sure you were up in the middle of the night answering Facebook questions. And responding to emails and texts and whatever else. Yeah. So you've added a couple of people. So it's grown, your vision has grown? Where do you see it? Down the road? What are your future plans for our space? And what do you think it's going to grow into next?
Debbie DeBerry 44:11
I'm allowing space for it to evolve in the way that it does. So like, I'm going to I kind of like nudging a little bit. But I'm also like, letting it kind of do its thing. As long as it's within the bounds, right? As long. As soon as it gets out of the bounds. It's like, this is not No, we're not that's not what we're doing. So this space is so unique, that it does need to exist, it absolutely has to exist. Yes, it will continue to exist. So if we continue to as we continue to grow, right, we'll just keep adding on people for support. And you know, yes, I added you guys As support so that I didn't have to answer every single thing. And I still acknowledge everything. Oh, yeah, absolutely. But I also did it because I don't want just my voice heard. I want I want everybody else's voices heard too. Yeah. Cuz your experiences are incredibly valuable. And sharing your experiences and sharing your point of view, and you helping, like, you're an amazing coach. You asking people questions, you're awesome. You're so good. I'm so grateful. So seeing the way you interact with people and like, people need that, like people need these things in their lives. Because I guarantee it most people don't get it outside of our group.
Unknown Speaker 45:52
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's I think we all I think we all need each other, you know, very much. Absolutely. I
Debbie DeBerry 46:00
agree. Absolutely. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 46:03
So you're still flipping now, you know, we've got this amazing tribe, you develop this whole program that is like in and of itself of wealth of information? I don't even know I I'm not, I'm a little afraid to ask you how many hours it took you to develop all your materials. Like, that's huge right there. And I know that you still do some updating with that you're in there and add add lots of content. Plus, you've got our tribe. But you're also still flipping? Yeah. Yeah. And you're not just flipping locally there in Austin, you're also flipping out of state, right? Yep.
Debbie DeBerry 46:45
Unknown Speaker 46:46
So tell us about how that's working for you. Now, is it different now than it was when you first started flipping?
Debbie DeBerry 46:52
It is because So ever since I had that, like, sit down, where Dr. yandell. And Coach Duke told me Stop half assing things. I don't. So when I'm in, I'm all in. That said, it's also really important for all of us to practice balance, and to know what that looks like for us. So for me, one of my constant struggles is not comparing myself and feeling good about my decision and not listening to the noise. Because what the noise says is, you need to be flipping 5000 houses a year, or else you're worthless. And it's like, but I, I don't want to flip 5000 houses a year, I want balance, and what the most important thing for me right now, within that balance is my kid. So I only get him 50% of the time. And man that 50% of the time, I am all in like, I want to be super present. It's only seven more years. So he's 18. And that's gonna fly by, it's gonna be okay. And I'm going to be sitting in the corner. So sad. So I don't want all of my time spent on business. So I've got the kiddo flipping houses locally, as well as in other areas, partnering with some family. Yep. And then I've got the tribe. And I feel like that's a really good triangle. It's really good triangle to have. Real Estate. And the boy in this amazing coaching program, like those are my things. Those are my focus. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 48:45
Yeah. I think those are great focuses. Yeah. So out of everything we've talked about today, what do you think flipping and having our coaching tribe has allowed you to gain? And what do you think you've needed to give up? If anything, if anything I've had,
Debbie DeBerry 49:11
I've had to let go of and I am still practicing letting go of certain things. So I've had to let go of the story of I'm not creative. Right. So that's gone. And I'm daily. Working on the story of people pleasing. Yeah, setting boundaries. Communication, like clearly communicating with contractors and with people in general, clearly communicating, setting very clear expectations, setting the consequences and then following through on those consequences. So that's where the setting boundaries and the not people pleasing. Those have been my two like Achilles heels my whole life. Because Yeah, because we did move a lot. Every year, I was at a different school. And so let me please people so I can fit in. Because I don't make that. Right. Yeah. Because I'm brand new. These kids have known each other the whole lives like all of that. Yeah. So people pleasing was I mean, and being a chameleon, right, like fitting in. Yeah, all of that just came super easily to me. And it's gross. I don't want to be. I don't want like, it's not that I don't want to make people happy. I do. But when you're people pleasing in, in place of taking care of yourself or standing up for yourself, right, standing your truth and standing in your voice in power. That's not attractive. You know, those are the things that I'm constantly confronted with. And it's good, right? Like, those are just learning things. Like those are my things this this lifetime that I'm, I'm working through, and I'm trying to get right.
Unknown Speaker 51:07
Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty amazing. It really is. You've got an awesome story. And Debbie, your mom's legacy lives on everyday. Everyday in that?
Debbie DeBerry 51:25
Yeah. That makes me teary. Thanks for saying that. Yeah. Me feel a little bit. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 51:33
But it does. I mean, good. We've got such an amazing space. And, and I think the reason that when I mentioned in our group that I wanted to do a podcast with you and ask people for questions, I think the reason it was so popular is because you have created this beautiful, amazing space for all of us to learn and love each other, and not judge and we've got this safe. space, it is so safe space to come to. And we want to be that. And I think we all go out. And then we do that in our houses as we flip. We want to fit these face. These these safe spaces that are beautiful, that are loving, that are good places in our community,
Debbie DeBerry 52:26
though. Awesome. That's huge. Oh my god. That's it. Like that's, that's what I wanted to create. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. And everybody taking away, like to be able to take away from this space, like the way we are in our bubble. Yeah, to be that outside of the bubble. Like, because it's like, then it's the ripples, right? Because us being this way outside of the bubble, we are then impacting those people. And then those people are impacting.
Unknown Speaker 52:57
Yeah, absolutely. And just like you said, flipping a house changes you. And you become a different person. This program changes us as well. And I know I absolutely for a fact I am a different person, not just for flipping a house, but also for coming out of this program, not not coming out of it being in it. If you're never
Debbie DeBerry 53:19
coming out, you're stuck. I hope no, I'm not going anywhere. To you. You're not going anywhere.
Unknown Speaker 53:27
But I think it makes us go out and and be a different person and address our challenges in other areas of our lives, too. And I know it's made a difference in my relationship. Awesome.
Debbie DeBerry 53:39
I love that. Oh, my God. Thank you for showing up. Because like, we can create this space and we can create these opportunities for learning and changing but if the person doesn't show up and do it. Yep. Act. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 53:55
You got it. I agree. Yeah. Oh, this is so much fun. I love I really enjoyed it.
Debbie DeBerry 54:04
Sis, thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for hanging out with me and asking me questions and listening to my stories and letting me share my stories. It's so nice to be able to do that. So here's the thing, if anyone listening, if you're on the fence, if you are sick of not doing this thing, if you want to flip houses, you want to flip them to rent, you want to put them to sell whatever, and you still aren't and you're still struggling and you're sick of struggling and you want to be in this amazing community and program that we've all created together. We'd love to have you so go to first flip done right calm. Again, that's first flip done right calm and put yourself on the waitlist and we typically let you know within a few days. Have an opening. All right. Take control. You got one life. All right. Thanks for hanging out with us today. Go out there, flip houses like a girl. Leave people in places better than you find them and make it a great day. Bye, y'all.
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