How to Stay Motivated Even When Things Don't Go Your Way

Intro 00:01
You're listening to the flip houses like a girl podcast where we educate, empower and celebrate everyday women who are facing their fears, juggling family and business, embracing their awesomeness and wholeheartedly chasing their dream of flipping houses. Each episode delivers honest to goodness tools, tips and strategies you can implement today to get closer to your first or next successful house flip. Here's your spiky haired breakfast taco loving host house flipping coach, Debbie DeBerry.

Debbie DeBerry 00:39
Hey there. Thanks so much for taking the time to hang out with me a little bit today. So before we get started, I want to do a listener shout out. If you are getting any sort of value out of these episodes, Would you do me a huge favor. And please leave a rating and a review, especially if you listen in iTunes, because it helps me reach more like minded women. And if I can instil in one more woman out there that she absolutely can flip houses confidently profitably and make an amazing impact on her community and on the lives around her, then my mission will be accomplished. All right. So thank you so much. To those of you who have left reviews, I'm very grateful, even to those who listen on other platforms where the reviews, quote unquote, don't count, which is kind of crazy. I appreciate you tuning in. And just letting me be part of your day, really. So thank you. I appreciate it. So this review is from the username burns strong. It says Finally, so sick of looking for more info and only finding cheesy guys with crap to sell you, Debbie is exactly what I've been looking for. Preach, sister, and thank you very much. Again, I appreciate you taking the time to a listen to me and be let me know that what I'm talking about actually matters. All right. So in this episode, I want to share with you ways to stay motivated. And I recently did a video on this. And in case you missed it, I wanted to share that with you here. Because it's really important. And it's something that comes up all the time with people, right, you start something and you're really excited, your momentum is great. And then things don't happen as quickly as you want them to. or things just don't go your way. Or it feels like everywhere you turn, you're met with resistance. How do you stay motivated? That's the conversation I want to have with you today. And I just want you to think about it, because it's really important for you personally, and for any business endeavor that you are taking on. All right. So here we go. So I wanted to share my wife with you. Because it also is really important to, for you to understand your why because that's where your motivation is going to come from. Alright, your motivation is not going to come from anybody else. It's not going to come from me checking in on you to see if you're, you know, following the steps, it's not going to come from your best friend saying, Hey, we need to fix the house, it's not going to come from anybody other than you. So when things don't go your way, when things don't happen as quickly as you want them to happen. They they because they won't. I mean, they just won't. Not always at least some things will happen faster. But some things will take longer. And it's just part of the process. But when those things don't happen as quickly as you want them to, and when things don't go your way, what are you going to do to continue to show up? Because that's the secret like that's how you get what you want you keep showing up until you get it so your biggest source of motivation will be your why and I can't tell you what that is and nobody can tell you what that is that's gonna take you really doing some deep diving into why you want this whatever this is let's let's do flipping houses just because that's that's the subject um, why do you want a successful hustled in business? So I'm going to share with you Like I said Why I created this whole coaching business? Oh, and welcome to second cup with Debbie DeBerry. All right? Look, if you're not wearing clothes, or drinking, from cops with words of affirmation that remind you how freaking awesome you are, I really think that you might be missing an opportunity for extra love in your life. So go get you a coffee cup that reminds you how magical you are. All right. So, today second cup is about your why, and how that knowing that y will be your source of motivation. All right. So let's go back to march 19th 2014. All right. It was around nine o'clock in the morning. And I got a phone call that would end up changing my life as I knew it in more ways than I could ever imagine. So I was working on a computer, you know, designing a house that I was flipping in that at that time, and I got a call from my dad. And I can very much remember. Like, I don't have great long term memory. I remember everything about this phone call. And if you've had some pretty memorable moments in your life, you can probably relate to that. So my dad is on the other line. And he tells me to, to sit down. Okay, that's weird. I'm like, I'm sitting dead. And then he tells me that my mom died. She made me cry. It's been six years. Right. And I still get I still get emotional. Um, yeah. So. So he told me that my mom died. She died in her sleep. All right. So Mind you, she died on March 19. or sometime sometime in the night, who knows what time we don't know what time she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep. Her birthday was March 18. So like pretty freaking awesome that she got to hear from her friends and family that love the crap out of her. And then she got to hear from them. Um, and then she went to sleep and died. So if if you got to go, that's definitely the way my mom would have wanted to go. Anyway, so he told me that. And I can remember screaming over and over into the phone. Oh my god, no. Oh, my god, no, over and over and pacing. in the living room. I was just pacing back and forth and screaming Oh my god, no, to my dad on the phone. I didn't understand what he was saying. It did not make any sense to be because my mom was perfectly healthy. Like, it's not like she was on a heart medicine or like she was healthy. She had just jumped on the trampoline with my son a week prior. She was active. So it didn't make sense to me. Um, and she was to say she was my rock that doesn't like that. That's like the tip of the iceberg. She was my everything. She was my she was my truenorth. Okay, so my entire life, I heard I could do anything and be anything I wanted. As long as I put in the effort, like, there was no limit. And if I went and I tried and I failed, guess what my mom was there. And there was no sense of failure. I was never shamed for trying anything and screwing it up. It was more like, okay, like, Great. Now, get back up, you know, brush off your bridges, and go try again, if that's what you want to do. So needless to say, I was devastated. I was really, really, really angry. And the next year or so, I spent, you know, after being in a total days, um, for the first month or so, trying to figure out so many things. But I knew that I had to reconcile three things. All right. One was, who was I in the world without my mom watching and supporting? That was a big one. Who was I because she was my favorite. So I had to, I had to figure that part out. And the second thing was, I had to figure out how I was going to get through that, like the short term. It wasn't that I was I was definitely grieving. And I wasn't trying to not grieve. I wasn't trying to cover up my feelings. I knew that that was not the healthy way to handle all of this. I knew I had to go through it, like the hardest stuff you have to go through. There's no going around. Or else Guess what, honey? 20 years from now, you're going to be some it's going to smack you in the face. All right, so you've got to get through stuff. So we knew that it was hard, like really hard. So I knew that for me, continuing to create houses, continuing to have that creative outlet. And that problem solving outlet was critical. And I still allowed myself days degree, don't get me wrong, of course, I did that. But I needed to stay in motion. And so I kept creating houses. I was like blinders, and renovating houses, renovating houses. And on top of that, I focused on my son, and I loved the heck out of my son, the way my mom loved the heck out of me, and my siblings, and her grandkids, my nieces and nephews and her great grandkids. Like she was the embodiment of love and support and encouragement, like she was freaking awesome. Okay, so I knew that I was going to do the same thing with my son. I mean, I always already was, but I felt a different connection with my mom, after she died. When I'm with my relationship with my son. It's very interesting. All right, the third thing I had to reconcile was, how was I going to make this make sense in my brain? Like, how was I going to give this meaning? What was I going to do to honor my mom going forward? So that was the birth of this whole coaching business and creating these communities for women, because my mom was all about girl power. I mean, over and over and over. cards I received from her words, I heard from her where you go, girl, you go girl, like I like, I love seeing that. And when people write it to me, I'm always like, Oh, my God, this is my mom, I love it. And so it makes me think of her. Anyway, I then spent a solid 12 months pouring my heart and soul into creating this amazing color coaching program for women. And these communities for women. And I wish she were here to see what we have created and what we continue to create. Because I know that she can think it's really, really cool. And when I hear from women that I've made a difference in their life. Like it's it just it, it makes it all worth it. And it makes me feel like my mom's here. As cheesy as that sounds it. I'm definitely paying forward.

All of the love and encouragement and support that my mom gave me. So I wanted to share that with you. That's my why. That's why I do Facebook Lives and make myself totally freaking vulnerable. And that's why I put myself out there. So that I can hopefully instil in just one more woman out there that she absolutely 100% can flip houses successfully, if that's what she wants to do. If that's what brings her joy, she absolutely can chase that dream and do it confidently and successfully. And I have so much fun. All right. So if I can do that I can still instil in one more woman that that is possible.

Then the entire like my entire mission for my business is fulfilled like that's it. All right. So I wanted to share that with you. And I really strongly encourage you to do a deep dive and figure out what What it is that motivates you? What's your big Why? What's going to make you keep showing up? Even when things don't go your way, or even when they do, go your way. Alright, I hope you got so much value out of that. And you will spend some time on your own. Coming up with your why, and what's really driving you. Alright, if you haven't yet, you totally should check out my follow that flip series. It's an eight part video series where I literally walk you through an entire flip that we did, and it's all done in real time. So you get to see it all unfold live. And I'm sharing tips and tricks and strategies with you. So go to follow that flip comm and register for that series. And you'll get an email pretty soon after with your videos. All right. Okay, you guys. You know the drill. Go out there, flip houses like a girl. Leave people in places better than you find them and make it a great day. Bye, y'all.